I study and study and study. Seems as if I do not study enough. It can be so hard, but I can be so hard on myself. Once again, we are on the 3rd test and yet again I did not pass. It is finally time to drop the class and not worry about it anymore. Government and History, one of my very difficult courses. I seem to be passing my other classes but when it comes to these other 2 subjects.......I FAIL!! EPIC FAIL!!!
It really is taking a toll on my confidence. I want to just stop going to school. Just work as a Technician...that might be all I am good at doing and that might be all I am worth. What am I doing wrong? How am i supposed to study? I have a child and I do not feel as if I have time to study as much as I should. I don't have help from my significant other, or so I feel. He complains that he is tired. He has the audacity to say that he works a lot so he needs time to rest and time for himself. I may not work as much anymore, but I cook, clean, take care of the baby, take care of him, just recently took up my bro and i also work 3 or 4 days a week. Where is my time? Lately I have just been feeling like I am being verbally attacked by him. I just feel like he is saying, in his way, that I am stupid, lazy and not worth anything. Then again I think I am just being sensitive. I've never felt this bad in a long time. The last time was with my mom. Something is bothering me but I do not know what. I feel so vulnerable. I feel so...unwanted. I feel so....STUPID.
I guess I am just taking on a lot. I think I am just overwhelmed. I think it is just plain old STRESS. I guess I can just drop the class and take it again next semester. I will be ready and know what to expect. I guess... we shall see.
